This is going to be really funny but at the same time educational. Forgive the curse words and expressions, they are just there to create a dramatic effect for my readers; who are a very tolerant lot - at least that is what I think. So in 2011 is when I lost sight; went blind, the lights were shut off permanently. Earlier to that I had no experience in being so, trust me on that. Ever since, I have been documenting all kind of experiences to do with my blindness; Blind Bloopers: is a series of posts on my blog that documents the funnies of being in my situation. So sit back, don't pop that corn or cherry, cringe and hold on to your pants because there is no porn on this post but there is a possibility that you will laugh your pants off!
For some reason every person I meet, well not every person but most people I meet knows an expert that can solve my blindness or cure it, so they say. This expert is not limited to doctors and that difficult word to spell for an eye specialist optho something! The third or other choice I have is:
3. Voodoo, this is the most interesting of all of them. This cure has miracles associated with it and also blac magic. It's not the kind of magic you see on the television OR TV show where one pulls out a rabbit from a hat, but the more serious kinds equally powerful to the miracles performed by the mighty Prophet Jesus; raising people from the dead, curing the blind etc. Voodoo practitioners come in 2 types, some that go by the book and some those randomly have some ritual practices that entice OR lure you to them. I met both the kinds. Yes, you would think, someone who is intellectually apt like me, why would one butcher their head in that kind of slaughter house?
Honestly, at that time I was desperate for a cure; regaining sight; and was willing to gamble on the other side. This experience, although didn't get me what I wanted but surely entertained and left the pockets lighter.
This one guy I met supposed to be a Holy Man; we have many such Holy Men in India; told us that he had the gift of God and there was this one time where he was trapped by his parents in a room. He using his miraculous powers shape shifted or transformed into a snake and crawled/ slithered out. Unfortunately, he did not have the resources that Batman has i.e. Batmobile so he took a bus to the neighboring town and started his club of morons that bought into his idea of being the God Man he claimed to be. I was to become the next moron to buy into his belief and invested money and time to see what he could get done. 3 days of some praying and some chanting from the Holy Book of Muslims known as the Quran and a few moneys spent; the God Man gave up on me and disappeared!
This other lady who knew this chanting took a few money to help out but the rituals were as weird as they can get; first take a bath while chanting a chant from the Holy book of the Hindus; a lock of hair that had to be burned after giving sacrifice to a rooster and wearing my underwear the wrong side front for a month. It did not restore my sight but I sure did have a tough time peeing!
This other God forsaken one gave me a candle to stare at for 30 minutes each day and asked me to keep a pair of scissors under my pillow, just incase I needed to cut something in bed like a packet of chips!
To be continued in Part 4 coming shortly to The Somebody, Nobody, Anybody and Everybody Blog!
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