It's not like a headache; a few pills and a good nap the next when you wake it's all better again. I had to accept my blindness; not an easy thing to do when you have to shoulder the responsibilities of a family I just started. Many visits to doctors and my eye specialist gave me no hope of reversing this condition caused due to Glaucoma. So I accepted it; without much knowledge on how to move on with life. They say the worst isn't over until it's had the best of you; and it's over. But when is it actually over; the simple answer to that is when you are dead.
I wasn't dead; just blind - so it's actually not yet over for me. Accepting the blindness and the fact that there is no coming back to the light was one side of the story; losing a job which was to build my career and losing my family was the other side of the worst to happen. Losing the job, wasn't that difficult because I knew that I would not be able to contribute to it until I am up and ready with the required skills; at that point in time I didn't even think about how. The pain started not from the blindness but from the pain I had emotionally when I had to end a marriage with my then partner; till death do us apart is so cliche; also had to say good bye to a 4 year old angel I was farther to. It all happened so quickly I can't remember most of the details; although I termed it to be the worst to happen; I feel may be it was for the best because I could not support them financially and had no clue about my future as a person in the society. In a rush; I said good bye; few tears and a heavy heart was all that I can remember from that experience. I never met them ever after although I tried a few times only to be insulted and sent back to my darkness of a world.
Most of you readers may think of my partner as a bitch; but I honestly feel what she did was for her and her childs best and in turn for my best. I did write a big fat cheque on her name; it took all of my savings and it was a very expensive good bye.
Instead of seeing my weakness at this point of time; I focused my energy on the strengths and positives. My supportive family and friends; even my ex-colleagues. All of them had such good hearts that all I could think of is that this too shall pass. I will never forget the love and sunshine they gave with their words and emotions in my darkest hours; I always had a shoulder to lean on.
I see a red door; And I want it painted black
No colors anymore; I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by; Dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head; Until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars; And they're all painted black
With flowers and my love; Both never to come back
Thank you for reading; I am sure you are right now emotionally disturbed after reading my story with blindness. Let me give you some hope; the next chapter, will turn things around and I promise it will be the last chapter in this series; after that we are going to be writing and reading a lot of fun stuff. Stay tuned...
The title of this blog was inspired by the song Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones album: Aftermath (1966). I was originally thinking of titling the blog with the line "Hello darkness my old friend: from the song The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel album: Sounds of Silence (1964)
Hope you enjoyed reading this post. Please share with your network using the share buttons below and comment with your thoughts...
If you haven't subscribed please do by filling out your email ID in the form below and clicking on submit (Check your INBOX OR JUNK folder for the subscription confirmation email.
You can now support The somebody, nobody, anybody and everybody Blog by making a purchase on amazon by clicking HERE or any of the banners on the website. Thank you for your support!
Like what you read? Share it!
Comments
Post a Comment