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20 years of kissing butt!

Originally published on Sept, 2014, on an Enterprise blog site. You would think this is it; but I actually didn't quit - just stepped off the wagon to give some interesting reads and thoughts to other fellow smokers. The point here is it's Rock On! not Smoke On!

Well it's been more than 20 years and I don't want to count back to the day I kissed butt for the first time. As far as I can recall, it was during college I was introduced to butt kissing. It started as a fashion, something cool to do and feel more mature and macho about the whole thing of butt kissing. Sometimes we would form groups and kiss butt. This butt kissing went on behind trees, sometimes behind closed doors and sometimes very boldly in public. The butt kissing was limited to once in a day. But little did we know that the butt kissing would have the best of us. From once a day it became 2wice a day. Then 3ice a day. Then the counting stopped and it became as natural as air to us.

We would butt kiss after every meal, butt kiss after or during our tea break, butt kiss while riding the bike, butt kiss when meeting up a group of friends, butt kiss in front of the girls college to get some attention, butt kiss before we went to bed, butt kiss at the break of dawn, butt kiss when reading the paper, butt kiss while on the pot, butt kiss when in deep thought, butt kiss when feeling lonely - simply put we were butt kissers!

The times you would find us not butt kissing are: While in the Shower; Between meals; in front of authority i.e. Dad or Mom, uncle, aunt, neighbour, that snitch cousin, while at a holy place, at the petrol bunk, while working with explosives, any place that said no butt kissing - I have to work harder to list more such instances which are as you can tell are limited.

Today when I look back at those days, I pitty myself for being that butt kisser. What a sucker the Marlboro man made out of me!

3 weeks since I stopped smoking cigrettes and I do feel better about my decision everyday! This did not happen overnight. I gave up and started again, gave up , started again, said OK to 1 cigrette a day. Total time taken till today in my efforts 3 months. Being a butt kisser for so long and indulging in smoking more than a packet of cigrettes I totally understand what kind of stress one has to go through when he/she decides to quit kissing butt.

Here are some pearls of wisdom I would like to share from my experience:

Go cold turkey. By which I mean just stop smoking one fine day. Don't plan to quit the next week, tomorrow, on new years, on your birthday or if she/he says yes. Just quit now!

Beware mood swings on the go. One of the biggest hurdles to overcome after quitting is the mood swings. You will want to choke somebody to death, if permitted stab and mutilate their corpse. Burst into anger you will. But you need to control and refrain from such acts. Don't ask why; it's against the law stupid!

Stop doing all those things that remind you of smoking or used to give you the opportunity to smoke. Which includes ditching those butt kissing friends, avoiding tea, coffee, alcoholic drinks etc. Stay clear from all of them even that hot biker chick/ guy giving you the look and tempting you to butt kiss again.

Drink plenty of water, I mean plenty of it. Whenever you feel the urge to smoke drink water until it makes you drowsy or puke. * drowsy & puke added for the dramatic effect they bring to a lame statement.

Fruit juices you must, they help repair the damage you done to your bags for so long. Suggested: Pineapple- helps control the craving for a cigrette, clears up some junk in your lungs, overall has some vitamins you need. Pomegranate & Cranberry - helps in detoxifying and rejuvenating some elements in your body, helps you dispose the nicotine in your blood through urine. Be a regular taker of these 3 fruit juices and add on with other fruit juices to your liking, they say papaya is another good fruit juice you should drink.

Recommended to psychologically help kick the habbit Bupropion 300 mg for the heavy smoker; 150 mg for the not so heavy by which we mean packet or less. 1 tablet a day should suffice after meals only not to be taken on an empty tummy.

Nicotex the gum, a nicotine substitute 2mg for the not heavy smoker 4mg for the heavy smokers. 1 gum should keep your tobacco cravings under control for an hour or more. Read the instructions on this one else it could cause you to hic up like you had the fits. And yes, you can take as many as you like to keep you cigrette free for the day.

Noticeable mutations after kicking butt:

Appetite increases, so watch your weight. Exercise and grow those smoke free lungs.

Heavy or restrained breathing at times.

Disturbed sleep.

As mentioned earlier; mood swings.

Skin rashes or itchyness. Lungs and skin have a strange relationship according to some Chinese medicine practitioners. The mother in law/ daughter in law kind of I assume.

Change in your pocket helps the poor out.

Things will taste/ smell funny. Relax that's how they actually taste/ smell.

Points to remember:

Every smoker is your enemy and is a threat to your decision of quitting. Stay away from these Charlies, educate them not. They will think you are a looney.

* Have not written anything about the harm that smoking causes to ones health. Go watch a movie and that should be enough to educate you these days.

So do OR did you have any habits that were difficult as smoking to give up? Did you succeed; if yes, can you share your experience boldly and honestly in the comments? Even if you failed, how was your quitting journey like?

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  1. I thought it was about boo licking lol... Thank god you have quit smoking as it is harmful for your health. We have no idea how long we need our body for, so better maintain it when we have time.

    1. It's been an uphill battle honestly. I quit, then started again. As of today I have kept it real and actually trying hard to keep away from alcohol which I love a lot because if I drink I want to smoke!

  2. I am so proud of you for quitting!!! You are right when you said it effects ones health. My mother smoked and drank and she died from a heart attack do to those choices. You are doing the right thing. Especially for your wife and daughter. Again, I'm proud of you and cheering you on.


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